He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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