idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
