and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
