My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Randomize
