Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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