"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
