I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
