Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
