You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
