I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
