Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
