wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
