I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
