I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
