Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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