i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
