Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
