I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
so let's talk penis.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Randomize
