I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
