so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Someone shattered a urinal.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
