Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
