I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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