uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
