do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
