woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
