we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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