Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
