We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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