shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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