Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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