Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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