My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
