I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Sorry my hands just texted you
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
