it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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