I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
