How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
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