I got chris browned last night
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I cannot find my penis.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
My feet surprised me
Randomize
