They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
