Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
