Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
