yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
