i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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