he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
