I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
He passed out mid-signature
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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