i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
