If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
