Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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