You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
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