Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
