And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
