he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
