I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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