Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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