She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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