take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
