I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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