hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
