He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
