Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
don't judge my taste in strippers
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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