I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
